Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Tips on Cheating - Never Leave a Paper Trail

After a week of the craziness that is the Tiger Woods story, I am constantly amazed even today at how stupid people are when it comes to cheating.

Just in case you are/were going down this path, here are my tips on cheating.

  • Never leave a paper trail, no emails, no texts, no sexting. All can be forwarded. I will always remember a story out of England about a girl who sent her lover an email to his work, no less regaling him with how much fun (insert euphemism here) about their night together, the email was also pretty mushy So what does the wanker do, he sends it to his work mates and they, of course, forward it to their friends and then the email went viral. Needless to say he was fired because he worked for a big bank and she was front page tabloid news in London. You think the tabloids are bad here, England is worse. 
  • Don't change your Facebook status. This will tip your friends off that something is going on and lo and behold, your mate will find out. Look at the Salahis, once they put those photos up on their Facebook site, somebody outed them and the Secret Service came a calling. 
  • Never use your credit card.  Paper trail again. Unless you have an accountant who pays your bill, the odds are your mate will open it the bill and wonder about a hotel charge. My advice is to open a separate card and then change your mailing address to your work address but I am sure there is flaw there somewhere.
  • Stay out of Vegas - Don't believe the hype. What happens in Vegas usually is discovered. 
  • Don't date people who have everything to gain and nothing to lose financially - All those Tiger women (9 and counting), are more than happy to get paid by the tabloids. If he had any common sense, he would have found a hot married woman or a woman with money.  
  • Never leave a voice mail (especially a salacious one)- Again can be forwarded. Alec Baldwin comes to mind (not cheating here) but you get my drift. 
  • Never tell your mistress/lover anything about your marriage - Good lord, I am disgusted that Tiger (allegedly) told his mistress intimate details about his marriage. Whose business is it other than theirs. Isn't hurtful enough that your cheating but know this other person knows her business. That's just wrong. 
Finally, if you are famous and some scandal hits, treat it like a bandaid (or David Letterman) and confess right away and get out in front of the story. 

Tiger Woods will recover from this nonsense but he should have come clean the Saturday after the accident because everyday his reputation is being defined by the media and these women. 

He truly is a stupid asshole if he thinks TMZ is going to let up. TMZ has people covering everyone of these women and they have led their show everyday since this happened and they are not going to let up. 

As a devoted follower (yes, I need a life) of the show, if they are willing to send photographer to a small town in pennsylvania to cover Jon and Kate, they are going to cover this until everyone loses interest which is going to be long time from now. 


Tom said...

I just love this!! This is a brilliant po

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