Finding a therapist is not as easy it seems. This is New York City, famous for it's therapists, if you believe all the movies you see. But after asking around and not getting any recommendations for a therapist, I decided to see if my insurance paid for therapists and hurray for me, they do. Too bad this is the year I decided to go the high deductible route. Oh well. So how I did I choose my therapist? Location, services offered and gender. I wanted someone who could feel some empathy but be objective, so I went with a woman, sorry guys. In addition, I wanted someone who just didn't focus on family issues but was more well rounded. I figured hey, why not continue once I sorta of gotta a handle on the child/parent thing and who wants to start all over with someone new.
After talking to a few doctor, I settled on Dr. R. not sure why, just a gut feeling . We arranged a time to meet. After watching a gazillion movies./tv shows with therapists, I thought this will be interesting. Expectation = Reality. Not! Does it ever?
Dr. R's office is near my neighborhood in a rather non-descript building with a rather non-descript lobby. I guess I should be grateful its not in some fancy Park/Fifth Avenue location which would make feel nervous, I am nervous enough about this process.
The elevator lets you off into the smallest little lobby if you want to call it lobby. It is occupied only by a small bench and post office boxes for the doctors. There are two separate entrances, not sure why. There is whole elaborate system to call your respective doctor which took a few minutes to figure out even with the instructions. Push a button, then wait for a buzzer, then do this, AAAGGG! Let me in already.
Once through the door, there is another waiting area, comfortable, chairs, sofa and magazines lying around; very typical waiting area.
So I sat there for a couple of minutes and then Dr. R stuck her head out. That part, I swear is just like every show (In Treatment, anyone) and movie I have ever seen. Just struck me as funny. Dr. R. looks like many New York women, well groomed, well dressed, thin and attractive. Probably in her in mid-late 30s, I am bad with ages.
As I whizzed by the other offices, I could see they were pretty much laid out the same way, sofa, chair, desk and bookshelf. Each office was the size of good size bedroom.
Dr. R's office has a homey feel to it. The sofa is quite comfortable with funky pillows. The lying down part, I think is pretty much a made up invention but what do I know from one therapists office. I think it would be weird for me to be talking to the ceiling and not be able to see the therapist's face while you talk.
So she asks right off the bat. Why are you here? I told her that while I needed help parenting my daughter, basically, I came at the suggestion of my family after they disinvited me on the family vacation.
This is when I knew I would be coming back. I am not sure if therapists are supposed to be stoic/expressionless people but her reaction was priceless. Her look was one of surprise and shock. Frankly, every time, I told people the story, they have the same gut reaction. "What?" Her comment after hearing that was, "how exatly does that help you?" My retort, "exactly." I then explained how this came to be, the misbehaving, the vacation last year but regardless of how I ended up here, I did some help in parenting my daughter.
So the other half of the session was talking about my relationship with my daughter, the not so great listening, having to repeat myself, lack of consistency, all typical wouldn't you say.
Then the 45 minutes was over. My homework: Write down my goals for our sessions. Easy
Until next week. Stay tuned.
Click here if you missed part 1 - Therapy Thursday (1) - I admit I have a Therapist